Well after church anyways..lol
Woke up this moring with ants in my kitchen, so I dropped the kids at sunday school, ran to walmart & am back at the apt... blah... I'm trying to air out the place a little b 4 I have to leave to get them & go to church... Ian's is hating being stuck in the crib & screaming at me but what can I do? Hes crawling like crazy & won't stay out of the kitchen... he's got toys stuck to the fridge he wants to play with... lol
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Nights are the worst
Nights really suck.... not that I mind it, it's just I'm out of practice being alone...lol....
I've got the kids to bed... already had my shower.... the baby's winding down... & I'm bored...
this apt sucks... the neighbors next to me are loud, thanksfully the person above me is pretty quiet... the manager of this place is a newsy little woman...lol, she came here with her soldier from germany 30-some years ago... & boy can she talk your head off... caught me in the laundry room & would not shut up.... talk about TMI.... lol
I've got the kids to bed... already had my shower.... the baby's winding down... & I'm bored...
this apt sucks... the neighbors next to me are loud, thanksfully the person above me is pretty quiet... the manager of this place is a newsy little woman...lol, she came here with her soldier from germany 30-some years ago... & boy can she talk your head off... caught me in the laundry room & would not shut up.... talk about TMI.... lol
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Reality....... CHECK PLEASE!!
I'm never going to understand certain things in life....
Why god does what he does....why when I'm in a rush, I always get the slowest cashier... why some people watch reality shows but can't live in the real world.... lol YES... still having issues with the SIL... shes mad at her mom for putting her in her place... & acting like a spoiled child... and of-course my MIL wants us to stay out of it... I think b/c she knows Mike will rip her a new one for acting like this when shes the one who started the crap... but I promised not to talk to my Mike about it ... & I won't....for now....but I can't honestly say we won't talk about it when he gets home next year... until this is resolved & I mean until she deals with reality... every deployment this is going to come up... shes alot like her Dad... can't expres her feelings to save her life...except of-course anger, lol.. but that's a hard wired McCrane trait..but really... when she scared, hurt etc.. she acts like it's all ok.. like if acting like her brother isn't going to a war zone is going to make it not happen... maybe that's how she copes... but sadly, she hurts her brother & that's where my anger takes over...shes not the one who had to look at his face & see the hurt in his eyes when he said, well she didn't call... again... & though he shrugs it off & gives a little, not surprised saying... after 13 years, I know those eyes..it bothers him.. but I think hes at the point with her where he just doesn't care anymore... its easier to let it go..
Anyway....
Things at home are getting better... the kids have had a few days to deal with Daddy leaving & are settling back into a normal routine... Sean was a bit younger the last deployment & is taking it a little harder then Christi... lol, she's a deployment champ at this point... when we told her he had to go away again.. she said, OK, that just means some mommy & me time.. Sean had a nasty episode with growing pains the first night... & of-course, didn't want my help... but I can't understand that... Mike does the same thing I do, give some tylenol, rub his legs & try to make him feel better... but there's just something about Daddy... today I asked him.. lol, Sean told me it's b/c Daddy had them too & he KNOWS it hurts... lol.. one time, a long time ago.. I tried to tell him that it didn't hurt so bad, to get him to stop crying... yea.. he remembers that...talk about mommy guilt... as if I needed something to make me feel worse, lol...
Why god does what he does....why when I'm in a rush, I always get the slowest cashier... why some people watch reality shows but can't live in the real world.... lol YES... still having issues with the SIL... shes mad at her mom for putting her in her place... & acting like a spoiled child... and of-course my MIL wants us to stay out of it... I think b/c she knows Mike will rip her a new one for acting like this when shes the one who started the crap... but I promised not to talk to my Mike about it ... & I won't....for now....but I can't honestly say we won't talk about it when he gets home next year... until this is resolved & I mean until she deals with reality... every deployment this is going to come up... shes alot like her Dad... can't expres her feelings to save her life...except of-course anger, lol.. but that's a hard wired McCrane trait..but really... when she scared, hurt etc.. she acts like it's all ok.. like if acting like her brother isn't going to a war zone is going to make it not happen... maybe that's how she copes... but sadly, she hurts her brother & that's where my anger takes over...shes not the one who had to look at his face & see the hurt in his eyes when he said, well she didn't call... again... & though he shrugs it off & gives a little, not surprised saying... after 13 years, I know those eyes..it bothers him.. but I think hes at the point with her where he just doesn't care anymore... its easier to let it go..
Anyway....
Things at home are getting better... the kids have had a few days to deal with Daddy leaving & are settling back into a normal routine... Sean was a bit younger the last deployment & is taking it a little harder then Christi... lol, she's a deployment champ at this point... when we told her he had to go away again.. she said, OK, that just means some mommy & me time.. Sean had a nasty episode with growing pains the first night... & of-course, didn't want my help... but I can't understand that... Mike does the same thing I do, give some tylenol, rub his legs & try to make him feel better... but there's just something about Daddy... today I asked him.. lol, Sean told me it's b/c Daddy had them too & he KNOWS it hurts... lol.. one time, a long time ago.. I tried to tell him that it didn't hurt so bad, to get him to stop crying... yea.. he remembers that...talk about mommy guilt... as if I needed something to make me feel worse, lol...
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I need to use this thing more often....
Very few people know I have this so I really should start using it....lol
We moved back to Hood last month.... VA SUCKED! I had some really cool neighbors but that was about it for va...So were back at Hood & getting us back on track... welllll
Tonight about 8 pm I took my husband of 11 years, (anniversay was the 14th, dang that went fast) to his company, & dropped him & a ton of baggage off.... he's heading out in the AM for afghanistan.... to join his unit....who's already there... so on the bright side he'll only have about 10 months instead of 12.... & it's some place he hasn't been... he's done Iraq twice now... lol, still trying to look on the bright side....
We got about 2 weeks notice so things have been crazy... my in-laws came for a week.... which rocks b/c I love my MIL but sucks b/c my FIL has a huge drinking problem & trying to explain to the kids why alchol is bad while they watch their grandad suck down martini's... well, sucks... but it was nice having them... we got to do some really cool things, like vist this little safari drive through thing where you can hand feed the animals... (Nay I can't believe you didn't warm me about the camel, lol) it was fun watching Christi freak as a zebra's head came into the car window looking for food...lol..it was more fun watching my husbands car ahead of me when the camel came & put its head in almost in my MIL's lap...lol
Then this weekend we took the kids to see Coraline at the movies.. OMG, that was awesome! lol.. ok, my family's a little morbid so it worked for us.. the 3-D was so freaking cool!
Today was took the kids to the circus.... sadly, not ringling bros but it was ok... we had a good time just being together... lol... it was great to see Ian's face when the animals came out... I don't think he knew what to make of everything but it was fun..
I've spent the last 2 weeks trying to make the most out everything so that Mike will have some good memories to take with him... not that he doesn't have in the past, but he needed some recent things... after how badly our year in Va went, I wanted him to still feel good about coming here even though we knew it ment this could happen... & I think he does... things are getting better for the kids... there in a better school... Sean is back in speech & OT & doing SO much better... Christi's whole attitude seems to b getting brighter... I know we made the right choice but I still feel guilty...
Anyway... back to tonight....lol
he's on lockdown... which really sucks... means he's still here somewhere on base but that I can't see him or talk to him... blah...
His brother Ian, called him yesterday to say goodbye... mom called today...& of-course his sister, who can't deal with reality, didn't bother again...
well, I've had it.. I had to AGAIN look on my husbands disappointed face when he said Siobhan didn't call...which I guess really didn't surprise either of us... she does this every deployment... but I had to press anyway.. I texted her while we were still in the parking lot...no respoce... so I call my MIL... now grant it, I knew that I shouldn't have to, but I did... & told her to get on her daughter to call him b 4 it was to late...
wellll, not surprising... it was to late...she called me right after I left him, I'm in tears on the road & she had the balls to call me & say, why didn't he call her...WTF? He's the one getting deployed to a combat zone & he's supposed to take time out of getting ready for that & spending his last moments with his family to call you? IS she out of her fucking mind? Then to call me & say that, PLUS, have the balls to LIE to me & say nobody told her what time he was leaving... well guess what, I know that's bullshit b/c my MIL told EVERYONE, what was going on, which is why Ian, being the good brother he is, called yeaterday...
I swear my SIL lives in her own little world sometimes... she has a hard time dealing with the reality that he IS a soldier & that we are a country at war...& that her baby brother, has, & will again, get shot at.... well too fucking bad.. how the hell do you think I feel about it? He's my husband & the father of our children... but I'm OK & can suck it up? lol.. people that make me go HUH? I know tonight I'm still hurting over it... by tomorrow it's going to annoy me... & leter on I'm not going to care b/c she's not worth it.... but Mike... that man can hold a grudge... & does... that last time she pulled this crappy stunt he refused to speek to her.... ever... my in-laws camer to visit when he got back the last time... & one night after me & my MIL had gone to bed, the buy stayed up talking.... well, Mike's dad asked him to make up with his sister... which is the ONLY reason he's ever spoken to her again... sadly, she probably doesn't even know that.. but this isn't the first time... Mike's had issues with his sister way b 4 I came into the picture... he's told me stories of the way she used to treat him growning up.. with the name calling, always calling him feel stupid... she has no idea how much she's hurt him... nor do I think she cares either... never once have I heard her say she was sorry for what she's done to him....lol, & my MIL wonders why we try to aviod her when we would visit home...
Of-course this isn't the worst thing...
When our son died... she pulled the same crap....everyone else, even my side of the family who I hardly ever speek to, called or sent flowers... not siobhan... she again had the balls to ask why the hell didn't he call her... again WTF? Our son just DIED you fucking moran & he's supposed to cvall you? humm, yea... I'm still in the hosp on drugs not functioning & Mike's trying to handling everything from the kids to the funeral arrangments & he's supposed to fucking call you? Here's something I'm pondering tonight...
Does my SIL realize what a selfish fucking child she is?
OK, I've ranted enough... she's so not worth my anger & though I know that, tonights a hard one...I'm staying awake, praying to hear my husbands voice for the last time, knowing he probably can't call until he get to Ireland atleast...but still I hang on to the hope... b/c you never know
We moved back to Hood last month.... VA SUCKED! I had some really cool neighbors but that was about it for va...So were back at Hood & getting us back on track... welllll
Tonight about 8 pm I took my husband of 11 years, (anniversay was the 14th, dang that went fast) to his company, & dropped him & a ton of baggage off.... he's heading out in the AM for afghanistan.... to join his unit....who's already there... so on the bright side he'll only have about 10 months instead of 12.... & it's some place he hasn't been... he's done Iraq twice now... lol, still trying to look on the bright side....
We got about 2 weeks notice so things have been crazy... my in-laws came for a week.... which rocks b/c I love my MIL but sucks b/c my FIL has a huge drinking problem & trying to explain to the kids why alchol is bad while they watch their grandad suck down martini's... well, sucks... but it was nice having them... we got to do some really cool things, like vist this little safari drive through thing where you can hand feed the animals... (Nay I can't believe you didn't warm me about the camel, lol) it was fun watching Christi freak as a zebra's head came into the car window looking for food...lol..it was more fun watching my husbands car ahead of me when the camel came & put its head in almost in my MIL's lap...lol
Then this weekend we took the kids to see Coraline at the movies.. OMG, that was awesome! lol.. ok, my family's a little morbid so it worked for us.. the 3-D was so freaking cool!
Today was took the kids to the circus.... sadly, not ringling bros but it was ok... we had a good time just being together... lol... it was great to see Ian's face when the animals came out... I don't think he knew what to make of everything but it was fun..
I've spent the last 2 weeks trying to make the most out everything so that Mike will have some good memories to take with him... not that he doesn't have in the past, but he needed some recent things... after how badly our year in Va went, I wanted him to still feel good about coming here even though we knew it ment this could happen... & I think he does... things are getting better for the kids... there in a better school... Sean is back in speech & OT & doing SO much better... Christi's whole attitude seems to b getting brighter... I know we made the right choice but I still feel guilty...
Anyway... back to tonight....lol
he's on lockdown... which really sucks... means he's still here somewhere on base but that I can't see him or talk to him... blah...
His brother Ian, called him yesterday to say goodbye... mom called today...& of-course his sister, who can't deal with reality, didn't bother again...
well, I've had it.. I had to AGAIN look on my husbands disappointed face when he said Siobhan didn't call...which I guess really didn't surprise either of us... she does this every deployment... but I had to press anyway.. I texted her while we were still in the parking lot...no respoce... so I call my MIL... now grant it, I knew that I shouldn't have to, but I did... & told her to get on her daughter to call him b 4 it was to late...
wellll, not surprising... it was to late...she called me right after I left him, I'm in tears on the road & she had the balls to call me & say, why didn't he call her...WTF? He's the one getting deployed to a combat zone & he's supposed to take time out of getting ready for that & spending his last moments with his family to call you? IS she out of her fucking mind? Then to call me & say that, PLUS, have the balls to LIE to me & say nobody told her what time he was leaving... well guess what, I know that's bullshit b/c my MIL told EVERYONE, what was going on, which is why Ian, being the good brother he is, called yeaterday...
I swear my SIL lives in her own little world sometimes... she has a hard time dealing with the reality that he IS a soldier & that we are a country at war...& that her baby brother, has, & will again, get shot at.... well too fucking bad.. how the hell do you think I feel about it? He's my husband & the father of our children... but I'm OK & can suck it up? lol.. people that make me go HUH? I know tonight I'm still hurting over it... by tomorrow it's going to annoy me... & leter on I'm not going to care b/c she's not worth it.... but Mike... that man can hold a grudge... & does... that last time she pulled this crappy stunt he refused to speek to her.... ever... my in-laws camer to visit when he got back the last time... & one night after me & my MIL had gone to bed, the buy stayed up talking.... well, Mike's dad asked him to make up with his sister... which is the ONLY reason he's ever spoken to her again... sadly, she probably doesn't even know that.. but this isn't the first time... Mike's had issues with his sister way b 4 I came into the picture... he's told me stories of the way she used to treat him growning up.. with the name calling, always calling him feel stupid... she has no idea how much she's hurt him... nor do I think she cares either... never once have I heard her say she was sorry for what she's done to him....lol, & my MIL wonders why we try to aviod her when we would visit home...
Of-course this isn't the worst thing...
When our son died... she pulled the same crap....everyone else, even my side of the family who I hardly ever speek to, called or sent flowers... not siobhan... she again had the balls to ask why the hell didn't he call her... again WTF? Our son just DIED you fucking moran & he's supposed to cvall you? humm, yea... I'm still in the hosp on drugs not functioning & Mike's trying to handling everything from the kids to the funeral arrangments & he's supposed to fucking call you? Here's something I'm pondering tonight...
Does my SIL realize what a selfish fucking child she is?
OK, I've ranted enough... she's so not worth my anger & though I know that, tonights a hard one...I'm staying awake, praying to hear my husbands voice for the last time, knowing he probably can't call until he get to Ireland atleast...but still I hang on to the hope... b/c you never know
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